Now Featuring the Great Grey Owl Nine-Pack & the Owl Family Holiday Portrait From the Twilight Zone
Let me tell you, just when I thought I had seen the most absurd AI-created affront to wildlife photography, along came not one but two masterpieces from the Ministry of Digital Nonsense.
First, I encountered a “photograph” of a conifer containing nine Great Grey Owls.
Nine.
As in NINE.
All perched like they were waiting for roll call.
I’ve spent days in blizzards hoping for a glimpse of one of these elusive beauties.
But apparently, somewhere out there is a magical tree with a sign that reads:
“Great Grey Owl Seating Area — Maximum Occupancy 9”
And wouldn’t you know it, the AI filled every seat.
But then — THEN — just when I thought the digital world couldn’t get more deranged, someone served up another “wildlife photograph”:
A Great Grey Owl family portrait.
The male.
The female.
And two chicks
— all snuggled together in a nest cavity, staring at the camera like they were about to say:
“Cheeeeeeese!”
It looked like the cover of Owl & Country Living Magazine
or a Hallmark movie titled:
“A Very Great Grey Christmas.”
Allow me to explain why this is ridiculous:
- Great Grey Owls do not pose for family portraits.
- They do not pack themselves into one nest cavity like a clown car.
- The male does not sit in the nursery taking selfies with the kids.
- And the chicks do not grin at the camera like they’re auditioning for America’s Next Top Owl.
This was not wildlife photography.
It was AI fan fiction.
Why This Stuff Isn’t Just Silly — It’s Wrong
It’s one thing to use AI to clean up noise or fix a crooked horizon.
It’s another to make people believe that Great Grey Owls gather in tree clusters like grapes, or that they take family portraits during nesting season.
Wildlife imagery shapes people’s understanding of wildlife.
When you present fiction as fact, you harm the species — and the public’s trust.
Nature is already miraculous.
It doesn’t need AI turning owls into the Brady Bunch.
So Here’s the Promise I’ll Keep
I’ll chase an owl for hours, days even.
I’ll sit in snow up to my shins.
I’ll freeze fingers, toes, and the parts they don’t write greeting cards about.
But I’ll never show you an owl that wasn’t actually there.
No fake families.
No owl conventions.
No AI-enhanced nesting rituals straight out of The Muppet Show.
What I will show you is the real thing:
the natural behavior, the raw beauty, the genuine wonder of wildlife —
even if it means I come home with a memory card containing 742 photos of empty branches.
Because that’s wildlife photography.
The real kind.
And it’s worth protecting.
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